Danny Nutjob Nalliah is ready to go “Ooga-booga-pappa-oom-mow-mow!” atop a Canberra scenic lookout, to keep the invisible bogeymen from eating our crops, stealing our shoes and souring the milk.

This has caused some amusement in certain journalistic circles.

There is no proof that the “sacrifice” was blood in the first place (and eyewitnesses to the suspect stain have said it looked more like nasty cask red spilled by a nocturnal sightseer).

Let us not forget that one of the maddies, wending his way up the hill with figurative pitchfork and pine-tar torch aloft, will be Senator-for-now Fielding. Note to all readers, even our more rational believer friends: Fielding and his like must not be allowed to happen again.

A bounty of five papal indulgences is offered for each demon-scalp presented to the editorial desk at Black Tower (or leave scalps, individually wrapped, at reception in Legion HQ, Sydney, but be sure to ask for a receipt).

Disclaimer: The bounty for demon-scalps is subsidised by a grant from Catch The Liar Ministries.