Passing the Vibe

According to the Catch The Fire Ministries blog:

Dr Jackson from the USA encouraged the Body of Christ in Australia to trust in the Lord as our Shepherd! (Psalm 23) Many were mightily touched by the prophetic Word from the Lord and the presence of God! Pastor Daniel also received his Honorary Doctorate of Divinity Degree from St Thomas Christian College in Jacksonville, Florida, USA. Dr Jackson officially conferred this degree on him and then pronounced, “from today you shall now be called Dr Daniel Nalliah.” At this point the whole crowd erupted in a standing ovation of highly emotional shouts of joy and praise to God!

Then the lovely wife and beautiful children of Dr Daniel joined hands with him, along with his sister and her husband who had travelled all the way from Sri Lanka for this very special day, to thank their Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ for this wonderful honour. With tears of joy, Dr Daniel shared, “I do not deserve this. It is nothing but the grace of God. I thank you all for standing together with us as a family and ministry. I know for sure that we can reclaim Australia for Jesus. We cannot let another generation pass by. I believe that we in this generation will see the promises of God and His prophetic destiny for our nation of Australia fulfilled in this Great South Land of the Holy Spirit.”

Now, I don’t totally disregard Danny’s words in the above. “I do not deserve this.” – There’s a statement I have no problem with.

This man, legitimate winner of such awards as the Gold Ernie for most sexist public utterance of 2009, and Best Sideshow Barker, Mount Ainslie Circus, thinks he’s got a doctorate.

Now, whoa a minute while we go over some preamble to the ceremony…

• Is this Jackson fellow a doctor, as in actual Ph.D, earned by writing a proper dissertation and bestowed by a reputable university? It’s uncertain. Zamekio Jackson seems to spend a lot of time bestowing honorary Ph.Ds throughout the States. Danny’s is only special in that it involved overseas travel.
• “The Guest speaker Dr. Jackson from the USA is a mighty man of God who is the president of an International Bible College and oversees 348 churches across America. He is a man of prayer who has experienced many mighty miracles as he travels across the nations to minister the Word of God.” – Catch The Fire blog, 24 Jan 2010… but Groupsects blog got to the bottom of the Jackson empire of 300 churches to find “Basically Zamekio has set up his own (unaccredited) college and denomination and if you cough-up the fees you and your church can join too. It’s a business, including the usual lucrative speaking circuit scenario, not a ‘ministerial oversight’ situation. At best, this is a misrepresentation by Nalliah.”
• And the college bestowing this honorary degree that Danny seems keen to trade upon? “

I’ve spent several weeks digging into this ‘College’ and nothing about it checks out at all.

Thanks to Google maps Street View you can cross check the addresses of facilities and none of them match up.

Where there’s supposed to be a college campus, there’s just a row of houses. Where there’s meant to be a church, there are empty shops. Or the address given simply doesn’t exist.” – Groupsects

Chasing myself up here, but I just did some research via Google Maps and Street View on the “college” that’s awarding Danny “Cash In On The Fire Ministries” Nalliah an honorary doctorate (which he better not start treating like a real one)… “Google Maps Link to St Thomas Christian College – 1624 Edgewood Avenue West, Jacksonville, FL, United States” shows a tinpot couple of houses and a parking lot.

The 570 Ellis Rd S, Jacksonville address shows a building the size of a small-town hardware store (about 50 car parks), next to the Mental Health Center.

6507 West Beaver Street, Jacksonville, the “Seminary and Graduate School”, appears to be an abandoned petrol station. - Black, in the AFA forums

The address listed for the accrediting institution (the ‘Southeastern Association of Christian Colleges’), 402 Tabernacle Rd, Ehrhardt, SC does not exist.

There is no ‘Tabernacle Rd’ in Ehrhardt, South Carolina.

This forum post sheds more light.

“Hmmm, St. Thomas Christian College and Theological Seminary? Hmmm, accredited by the Southeastern Association of Christian Colleges (a play off of the legitimate Southern Association of Colleges and Schools). It is funny that in the “schools” information pages it even gets the name of the bogus accrediting body wrong on a 2nd page about accreditation (it is also grammatically incorrect with regard to case, etc.) LOLOL This place is a serious diploma mill. The name of the “college” itself is a rip-off of the name of the legitimate St. Thomas University of Miami Gardens, Florida (which is a Catholic college, run by the Augustinian Friars).”

Ah, St Thomas, ever dubious!

So, basically, somebody who may not be a doctor, from a university that isn’t really a university, confers a degree that isn’t actually a degree on Danny.

How should he now be styled? Fortunately, I remember the mail-order catalogues from Fyshwick, back in my younger days. The answer is simple:

Danny Nalliah is The New Non-Doctor!

PS: The Great South Land Of The Holy Spirit is actually the Island Espiritu Santo in Vanuatu: it was never Australia. Check this out! Is this Pentefundacostal scholarship in bloom?

Postcards For Our Comrades!

Actually, if anything, Stalin and Hitler were establishing cults of their own.

Think about it, believers… not only does the Stalin/Hitler Fallacy fail to address the existence of any good deeds or ethical standpoints of non-believers, it has a downside.

If “Stalin was an atheist” makes all atheists emulators of Stalin, then the same syllogism makes all christians into paedophile priests.

Let’s send that particular furphy to Siberia, shall we?

Postcards to say something: 026 – As Others See Us, Darkly…

A renowned philosopher, Jason7463, once wrote the immortal words:

Thats the problem with atheistism,its so damned depressing.Basically says,your fucked so get used to it.

As is so frequently the case with deeper thinkers of this stamp, the wording, punctuation and homophone-swappage is fully sic. Still, let’s transcend that barrier, and look deeply into the void that is “atheistism as seen by Jason7463″.

Firstly there is “atheistism” to consider. I am grateful to Jason7463 for the peculiar wording he has employed in his exposition, as it serves to throw a common error into stark highlight. A person may be an atheist, but to consider atheism as an “-ism” in its own right is to overlook the derivation of the word. A- (meaning “not”) -theism (meaning “believing in a god or gods”) is not a belief, but the rejection of one. To imply that a belief must fill that void is to fall into error. This is usually illustrated by showing that baldness is not a hair colour, and that not collecting stamps is not, in and of itself, a hobby.

Now, is this “absence of belief in a god or gods” as damned depressing as Jason7463 claims? From personal experience and testimonial evidence available, I must say that the opposite applies in the majority of cases. This seems especially true when the subject has experienced belief.

Relieved from the stress of trying to reframe my entire existence to ensure its relative popularity with the invisible distributor of vengeance, largesse and misfortune, and all the forgive me this, show me the way that, and fitting the bigger picture against prophecy… not to mention the sizable cognitive dissonance between “Jesus said” and “Church does”, I am actually beginning to enjoy life.

Of course, we can safely dispense with the “damned” bit…

Basically says,your fucked… I don’t think so. If anything, now that I don’t rely on intangible (and let’s face it, non-manifest) means of support, I tend to plan all details of a project with the most pessimistic outcomes in mind. (The optimum and most likely are also considered: it’s a project management thing.)

The result is a tendency to be more mindful of circumstances and interdependencies: in short, to be careful. I may eventually wind up “fucked”, but entropy guarantees that for everyone.

…so get used to it. The fatalism implicit in such a statement is more indicative of the “let go and let god” type of person. Any situation has options: acceptance, avoidance, negotiation, or even aggression.

I’m alive for now. This is all the life I get, and I’ll play the ball as it lies, go to the clubhouse, or picnic on the fairway if I deem it suitable. I don’t have eternity to waste on harp lessons.
Life is mostly okay, and there’s plenty undone yet. “Used to it”? Only a person who missed a lot of interesting stuff could say that.

Postcards to say something: 023 – Nothing Of Substance

Suddenly I could see why the skywriting was so totally emblematic of the whole campaign!

Congratulate yourselves, guys. It’s a do-nothing feel-good for those already in the churches, and it’s going to appeal to the marshmallow-headed vibe chasers who want a four-song sandwich and a salved conscience.

Spot on!

And the poor, you shall always have with you, unless the poor fuckers starve while you’re busy with the banners and the skywriting. – Gospel According to Black.

Postcards to say something: 021 – Day Of The Dead

I buried my Stepfather today. He was more of a dad to me than the gene donor.

He was not a learned man, although he was more than brilliant in practical ways. Bush mechanicking and skill with even difficult animals were just two of the things that, like his ears, stuck out.

We had to try a little harder to get along together than is the case for blood-relatives (I’ll excuse my father from this particular comparison), but I thought I knew the man.

His entry into christianity was gradual, as this man had a low tolerance for bullshit. He was apparently scared into the flock by some of that alarmist material Stan Deyo was putting out in the late 70s.

The man I knew was kind. Not a soft touch, and guaranteed to give the “pretend-looking-for-work” bloke some actual hard work to do, but a fair reward at the end. Of course, association with church people influenced him over the years.

I haven’t had a lot of contact with the old man since my mother died. He went to stay with the sister I can’t stand, and I gather he attends her church in the relatively-affluent suburb where she and her unpleasant husband live.

I don’t know what sort of tolerance and charity Affluent Jeebus teaches, being of the sort who thought, even when a believer, that the whole Jesus thing was more about the unempowered.

Still, when the only email I get from him in months is all BIG RED LETTERS, saying:

Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of :

‘ASYLUM’.

And here’s your game show host…here’s KEVVVIIINNN !!!

Today’s program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:

Hop on a boat

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We’ve already given away hundreds of millions of dollars and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,

The Australian Taxpayer.

And don’t forget, we’re now the fastest growing game on the planet.

Anyone can play, provided they don’t already hold a valid Australian Passport, and you only need one word of English:

‘ASYLUM’

Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at $800 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights.

This competition is open to everyone,
buy a ticket to Indonesia

And catch the first available boat.

No application ever refused – reasonable or unreasonable.

All you have to do is destroy all your papers or burn your boat once you

Enter Australian waters and remember the magic password:

‘ASYLUM’

A few years ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to Indonesia’s gateway where agents were on hand to fast-track them to their boat trips to luxury accommodation

They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Australia

Our most popular destinations also include the Baxter’s reef and the world famous Christmas Island resort

If you still don’t understand the rules, don’t forget, there’s no need to phone a friend or ask the audience

Just apply for legal aid.

Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help.

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So play today.

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Get along to the Indonesia fishing ports

Don’t stop in Thailand or Bali

Go straight to Australia

And you are:

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to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth.

Everyone’s a winner, when they play

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… then I know the man I once held dear has died.

And may they put Anglo Jesus in the ground with him, before I piss on it.

Postcards to say something: 020 – Hello, Weenies!

No, I’m not for the halloween thing either. Although it stems from Irish and Scots culture, (Burns’ poem “Halloween” tells of the Scots observance), it is still superstition, and no superstition is a good thing.

And just remember, the christian myth has a zombie in it too.

Postcards to say something – 019: Jesus thinks you’re a jerk.

From a certain political aspirant (with emphasis on the ass and the rant) came this delightful piece of hate mail, spread below like a puddle of (sic):

“Is it a reflection on your own in ability to gain publicity that u had to hijack jesusallaboutlife web site? Pretty pathetic effort! And why do u only attack Christians? Where are ur web sites attacking Islam, buddism Hindu etc. I guess Christians r just a soft target! U wouldn’t want to offend anyone who might fight back eh! PS it wasn’t me who disabled ur web site, but more power to whoever it was. Not because I disagree with free speech, but because u hijacked th domain name. Did u do that to try to stiffle th Christians right to free speach? Surely not!”

Dear boy:

1. English lessons. Get some in.

2. Hijack? We own this site, and there is no attempt to pass it off as anything but the commentary and satirical site it is. Legal, we are! We have owned this site from inception.

3. If you’d like to observe me and my playmates giving the other silly superstitions a rousing send-off, I suspect one of your carers can direct you to the Atheist Foundation. This is, after all, Jesus – All About Lies, not Krishna – All About Being A Blue Dude Who Likes Cows.

4. Christians are not a soft target. You have undue influence, and the fact that some of you cannot pull 2% in a Federal poll may be due to your personal shortcomings. Who’s the cheeky little deity who gets prayers said before Parliament? All I’m saying is the privilege you enjoy is certainly not due to merit.

5. It was not this web site which was disabled. Anyway, what I read from your message, is that a potential Federal politician tacitly supports cyberterrorism. I shall remember this, and don’t be surprised if you wind up with a Federal Police dossier.

6. If you were not so egregiously stupid, and were not under the false impression that a domain name was hijacked, you would realise that nobody’s right to free speech is being stifled. We have had some interesting dialogues with christians here. (And occasional comic monologues from clowns like you, but that’s hardly the point.)

7. Go and look through the gospels and find the bit about Peter, the sword, and Malchus’s ear. What does this say to you, as a believer, regarding any christian who goes intending to do damage or harm on behalf of his god?

8. AFA and the Convention site were certainly targetted, but nobody’s claiming responsibility. What if this was just somebody’s test run, a sort of “Look, I can do it” before mounting an extortion attack on, say, the Anglicans, Catholics or another wealthy christian organisation? Does this change your opinion of the perpetrators?

Here’s a postcard just for you, in recognition of your sterling effort. Please write again, and this time we expect better than a regurgitation of that farrago of fallacies you copied from the newspaper, and added a hasty “so there!” before posting.

Postcards to say something: 017 – In The Pink

It’s a bit of a crackup. Is Benny in the dark, or does he think everybody else is?

And while it’s dark, watch out for Father Kidfidlan.

Come on, you lot! Out of the cloister, out of the closet, and admit that women are people too!

Postcards to say something: 013a – Exhilarating Mountain Air

Danny Nutjob Nalliah is ready to go “Ooga-booga-pappa-oom-mow-mow!” atop a Canberra scenic lookout, to keep the invisible bogeymen from eating our crops, stealing our shoes and souring the milk.

This has caused some amusement in certain journalistic circles.

There is no proof that the “sacrifice” was blood in the first place (and eyewitnesses to the suspect stain have said it looked more like nasty cask red spilled by a nocturnal sightseer).

Let us not forget that one of the maddies, wending his way up the hill with figurative pitchfork and pine-tar torch aloft, will be Senator-for-now Fielding. Note to all readers, even our more rational believer friends: Fielding and his like must not be allowed to happen again.

A bounty of five papal indulgences is offered for each demon-scalp presented to the editorial desk at Black Tower (or leave scalps, individually wrapped, at reception in Legion HQ, Sydney, but be sure to ask for a receipt).

Disclaimer: The bounty for demon-scalps is subsidised by a grant from Catch The Liar Ministries.

Postcards: Sermon On Mount Panorama Special Edition

How many blankets, dinners, literacy courses and saved lives went about 130km round a road today? And for what?

Did You Know: V8 Supercars are now all practically the same under the skin, no matter what “brand” they wear?