Postcards to say something – 019: Jesus thinks you’re a jerk.

From a certain political aspirant (with emphasis on the ass and the rant) came this delightful piece of hate mail, spread below like a puddle of (sic):

“Is it a reflection on your own in ability to gain publicity that u had to hijack jesusallaboutlife web site? Pretty pathetic effort! And why do u only attack Christians? Where are ur web sites attacking Islam, buddism Hindu etc. I guess Christians r just a soft target! U wouldn’t want to offend anyone who might fight back eh! PS it wasn’t me who disabled ur web site, but more power to whoever it was. Not because I disagree with free speech, but because u hijacked th domain name. Did u do that to try to stiffle th Christians right to free speach? Surely not!”

Dear boy:

1. English lessons. Get some in.

2. Hijack? We own this site, and there is no attempt to pass it off as anything but the commentary and satirical site it is. Legal, we are! We have owned this site from inception.

3. If you’d like to observe me and my playmates giving the other silly superstitions a rousing send-off, I suspect one of your carers can direct you to the Atheist Foundation. This is, after all, Jesus – All About Lies, not Krishna – All About Being A Blue Dude Who Likes Cows.

4. Christians are not a soft target. You have undue influence, and the fact that some of you cannot pull 2% in a Federal poll may be due to your personal shortcomings. Who’s the cheeky little deity who gets prayers said before Parliament? All I’m saying is the privilege you enjoy is certainly not due to merit.

5. It was not this web site which was disabled. Anyway, what I read from your message, is that a potential Federal politician tacitly supports cyberterrorism. I shall remember this, and don’t be surprised if you wind up with a Federal Police dossier.

6. If you were not so egregiously stupid, and were not under the false impression that a domain name was hijacked, you would realise that nobody’s right to free speech is being stifled. We have had some interesting dialogues with christians here. (And occasional comic monologues from clowns like you, but that’s hardly the point.)

7. Go and look through the gospels and find the bit about Peter, the sword, and Malchus’s ear. What does this say to you, as a believer, regarding any christian who goes intending to do damage or harm on behalf of his god?

8. AFA and the Convention site were certainly targetted, but nobody’s claiming responsibility. What if this was just somebody’s test run, a sort of “Look, I can do it” before mounting an extortion attack on, say, the Anglicans, Catholics or another wealthy christian organisation? Does this change your opinion of the perpetrators?

Here’s a postcard just for you, in recognition of your sterling effort. Please write again, and this time we expect better than a regurgitation of that farrago of fallacies you copied from the newspaper, and added a hasty “so there!” before posting.

Postcards to say something 018 – Mercy Killing

To all those who spoke out against those blame-the-victim, exorcism-driven exploiters of damaged young women, ironically known as Mercy Ministries, Thanks.

Especially, kudos to  Sean the Blogonaut, whose tenacious pursuit of the truth has followed the path of twisty little redefinitions and disavowals, and John from Against Biblical Counselling, who may have hit on a plausible reason why Nancy Alcorn’s enterprise concentrates heavily on eating disorders and homosexuality.

And to the ex-Mercy survivors, the hope that this brings some comfort. The power to succeed is yours.

No thanks at all to the christians who suspected something was amiss, but wouldn’t speak out because that would be “letting the side down”.

The job’s not finished yet. There are still charlatans doing damage to the already-damaged, dealing in a hoodoo world of demons, “spiritual warfare” and other unverifiable hooey, often to the increase of their own wealth and prestige. (You can test this one for yourself by taking notes and see who does well out of exorcisms: the victims are rarely permanently better, but the “practitioners” do quite well indeed.) Jesus may not have answers, but these slick witchdoctors do.

Postcards to say something: 017 – In The Pink

It’s a bit of a crackup. Is Benny in the dark, or does he think everybody else is?

And while it’s dark, watch out for Father Kidfidlan.

Come on, you lot! Out of the cloister, out of the closet, and admit that women are people too!

Postcards to say something: 016

When the apologists and polemicists have had their say, waggled their texts and retired to sharpen their pointing fingers, the whole god business comes down to a matter of faith. There is much encouragement in christian culture to keep meeting and talking together, and mutually reinforcing that faith.

But what is being reinforced?   The biblical Jesus and early christian church, for example, did not believe in doing anything about the government of the day, apart from obeying it. The moral standards they chose for themselves were simple: avoiding sexual immorality and not eating meat offered to idols. What is more, these standards were for the believers themselves, and there was no call to enforce compliance among the unbelievers.

There are so many add-ons in the churches of today which are merely constructs of political and social engineering. It takes a lot of bible-twisting to justify them. Ironically, the church hierarchies (unbiblical in themselves) have managed to bury Jesus in a pile of new material, and it says a lot against his divinity that he has so far been unable to dig himself out.

Postcards to say something: 015

God speaks? No, people do that.

Whether it’s the Voice of Doom telling us there’s a Pudding with our name on it unless we comply, Danny “Catch The Liar” Nalliah telling the gullible about the Invisible Soul-Snatching Goblins, or just the domestic-model nutjob with a hobby or a fancy, wanting to add a little more authority to his demands… people speak on behalf of god.

It’s a neat trick. With enough cult indoctrination, you too can learn to develop voices in your head.  Or pretend you hear ‘em, and say what you jolly well like.

Remember:

• Be solemn (unless you’re Pentecostal, in which case just avoid making the chicken noises too often);
• Use the Third Person… “The Lord says…”  (don’t want the audience thinking you’re doing it off your own bat!);
• Plausible deniability helps: “if your faith is great enough” is a trusty standy;
• Only tell the parishioners you fancy that “God wants us to be together” in private… (Bonus points if you check for a mike first).

Postcards to say something: 013a – Exhilarating Mountain Air

Danny Nutjob Nalliah is ready to go “Ooga-booga-pappa-oom-mow-mow!” atop a Canberra scenic lookout, to keep the invisible bogeymen from eating our crops, stealing our shoes and souring the milk.

This has caused some amusement in certain journalistic circles.

There is no proof that the “sacrifice” was blood in the first place (and eyewitnesses to the suspect stain have said it looked more like nasty cask red spilled by a nocturnal sightseer).

Let us not forget that one of the maddies, wending his way up the hill with figurative pitchfork and pine-tar torch aloft, will be Senator-for-now Fielding. Note to all readers, even our more rational believer friends: Fielding and his like must not be allowed to happen again.

A bounty of five papal indulgences is offered for each demon-scalp presented to the editorial desk at Black Tower (or leave scalps, individually wrapped, at reception in Legion HQ, Sydney, but be sure to ask for a receipt).

Disclaimer: The bounty for demon-scalps is subsidised by a grant from Catch The Liar Ministries.

Postcards to say something: 013 – The Mammonary Glands

Giving the theologians a rest, and letting the economists loose for a moment. The Purple Economy would be a good jumping-in point.

Money for anybody’s good works may be justified, but tax exemptions, subsidies and other breaks, for the purpose of spreading the brain-virus further? It’s so patently dishonest, the first thing that one sees is generally apologists yawping about the “good works”.

Would churches be prepared to let all charities be subject to the same rules for funding and taxation, and “charities” to be defined in a way that didn’t include proselytising?

Would the carpetbagging Hinn-jet and the Houston family property portfolio, for example, suffer under such arrangements?

What of the property portfolios of some of the more “traditional” churches, asset-rich with dwindling, ageing congregations?

How much would actual charities like the Bob McGuire Foundation be able to disburse if there was a tie between funding and works?

Well, let your mind boggle… nobody’s lifting the veil of secrecy from that one while there’s a buck to be salted away or diverted to propaganda purposes.

Postcards: Sermon On Mount Panorama Special Edition

How many blankets, dinners, literacy courses and saved lives went about 130km round a road today? And for what?

Did You Know: V8 Supercars are now all practically the same under the skin, no matter what “brand” they wear?

Postcards to say something: 012

There is nothing more annoying than hearing the same tired “proofs” and having, yet again, to tell yet another zealot that, no, that one has been disproved, discredited, or (worst of all!) that even those Answers in Genesis guys are sidling away from that particular argument as it makes its wielder look silly.

Now I’m prepared to allow that many of our faith-afflicted readers cannot tell the difference between a site set up to comment on the “Jeebus – Don’t Say Anything About The Churches (but really that’s what we’re plugging)” campaign and an attack on their religion, person, and loved ones… after all, most of the great christian thinkers are dead, and the new lot don’t seem keen to read their writings… but I reserve the right to delete your unapproved comment if it doesn’t deal, even obliquely, with one of these:
∙ the JAAL campaign;
∙ actual content of a post here;
∙ something of even nugatory interest;
∙ other devious christian selling tactics.

Oh: unless it’s worthy of comment due to egregious stupidity. (Hi, “bob” from Burwood!)

Those Missing $240 “All About Life” Banners…

A plausible theory for the disappearance of those bits of $240 Babble Society merchandise? An indicator of the way things might have been if Jesus was all about the lives that don’t have too many hot chips because it’s cold in the dumpster?

It makes you think… so quickly, think of something nice, like birds in pants.

If the big banner out front is down, the church might see the street, and that would never do, would it?