Postcards to say something: 016

When the apologists and polemicists have had their say, waggled their texts and retired to sharpen their pointing fingers, the whole god business comes down to a matter of faith. There is much encouragement in christian culture to keep meeting and talking together, and mutually reinforcing that faith.

But what is being reinforced?   The biblical Jesus and early christian church, for example, did not believe in doing anything about the government of the day, apart from obeying it. The moral standards they chose for themselves were simple: avoiding sexual immorality and not eating meat offered to idols. What is more, these standards were for the believers themselves, and there was no call to enforce compliance among the unbelievers.

There are so many add-ons in the churches of today which are merely constructs of political and social engineering. It takes a lot of bible-twisting to justify them. Ironically, the church hierarchies (unbiblical in themselves) have managed to bury Jesus in a pile of new material, and it says a lot against his divinity that he has so far been unable to dig himself out.

Postcards to say something: 015

God speaks? No, people do that.

Whether it’s the Voice of Doom telling us there’s a Pudding with our name on it unless we comply, Danny “Catch The Liar” Nalliah telling the gullible about the Invisible Soul-Snatching Goblins, or just the domestic-model nutjob with a hobby or a fancy, wanting to add a little more authority to his demands… people speak on behalf of god.

It’s a neat trick. With enough cult indoctrination, you too can learn to develop voices in your head.  Or pretend you hear ‘em, and say what you jolly well like.

Remember:

• Be solemn (unless you’re Pentecostal, in which case just avoid making the chicken noises too often);
• Use the Third Person… “The Lord says…”  (don’t want the audience thinking you’re doing it off your own bat!);
• Plausible deniability helps: “if your faith is great enough” is a trusty standy;
• Only tell the parishioners you fancy that “God wants us to be together” in private… (Bonus points if you check for a mike first).

Postcards to say something: 013a – Exhilarating Mountain Air

Danny Nutjob Nalliah is ready to go “Ooga-booga-pappa-oom-mow-mow!” atop a Canberra scenic lookout, to keep the invisible bogeymen from eating our crops, stealing our shoes and souring the milk.

This has caused some amusement in certain journalistic circles.

There is no proof that the “sacrifice” was blood in the first place (and eyewitnesses to the suspect stain have said it looked more like nasty cask red spilled by a nocturnal sightseer).

Let us not forget that one of the maddies, wending his way up the hill with figurative pitchfork and pine-tar torch aloft, will be Senator-for-now Fielding. Note to all readers, even our more rational believer friends: Fielding and his like must not be allowed to happen again.

A bounty of five papal indulgences is offered for each demon-scalp presented to the editorial desk at Black Tower (or leave scalps, individually wrapped, at reception in Legion HQ, Sydney, but be sure to ask for a receipt).

Disclaimer: The bounty for demon-scalps is subsidised by a grant from Catch The Liar Ministries.

Postcards to say something: 013 – The Mammonary Glands

Giving the theologians a rest, and letting the economists loose for a moment. The Purple Economy would be a good jumping-in point.

Money for anybody’s good works may be justified, but tax exemptions, subsidies and other breaks, for the purpose of spreading the brain-virus further? It’s so patently dishonest, the first thing that one sees is generally apologists yawping about the “good works”.

Would churches be prepared to let all charities be subject to the same rules for funding and taxation, and “charities” to be defined in a way that didn’t include proselytising?

Would the carpetbagging Hinn-jet and the Houston family property portfolio, for example, suffer under such arrangements?

What of the property portfolios of some of the more “traditional” churches, asset-rich with dwindling, ageing congregations?

How much would actual charities like the Bob McGuire Foundation be able to disburse if there was a tie between funding and works?

Well, let your mind boggle… nobody’s lifting the veil of secrecy from that one while there’s a buck to be salted away or diverted to propaganda purposes.

Postcards: Sermon On Mount Panorama Special Edition

How many blankets, dinners, literacy courses and saved lives went about 130km round a road today? And for what?

Did You Know: V8 Supercars are now all practically the same under the skin, no matter what “brand” they wear?

Postcards to say something: 012

There is nothing more annoying than hearing the same tired “proofs” and having, yet again, to tell yet another zealot that, no, that one has been disproved, discredited, or (worst of all!) that even those Answers in Genesis guys are sidling away from that particular argument as it makes its wielder look silly.

Now I’m prepared to allow that many of our faith-afflicted readers cannot tell the difference between a site set up to comment on the “Jeebus – Don’t Say Anything About The Churches (but really that’s what we’re plugging)” campaign and an attack on their religion, person, and loved ones… after all, most of the great christian thinkers are dead, and the new lot don’t seem keen to read their writings… but I reserve the right to delete your unapproved comment if it doesn’t deal, even obliquely, with one of these:
∙ the JAAL campaign;
∙ actual content of a post here;
∙ something of even nugatory interest;
∙ other devious christian selling tactics.

Oh: unless it’s worthy of comment due to egregious stupidity. (Hi, “bob” from Burwood!)

Jesus Has Asses!

A recent commenter was destined for that Big Bin Where The Bozos Go, but my colleague Gee Suss rescued him from obscurity.

If you would believe it, he was simply “bob” and although logs show him as coming from near Burwood, he chose to give a bogus email address (normally an instant ticket to the bin) and simply message us with

(link to a Youtube video of some 27 minutes’ duration)

i win

Not substantial by anybody’s standards, huh?

Gee Suss is a methodical chap, and watched the video. His dissection of it shows…

Even ‘Answers in Genesis’ a full on creationist website contains the above in the ‘Arguments Creationists should NEVER use’ list and a refutation of the claims by Ron Wyatt

Even the creationist idiot Kent Hovind knows he is a fraud, and Hovind is just a plain ignoramus himself.

Check out their report http://www.answersingenesis.org/creation/v14/i4/report.asp

… that “bob” has chosen a dud. At least he’s consistent.

So, “bob”, this one’s for you, and the Jesus who encourages you to do the online equivalent of placing burning bags of poo on doorsteps. I am sure he’s proud.

Postcards to say something: 010

An old friend, Anonymous Trad, sent me this. Like the lovely folk songs Mr Trad has been providing for a number of years now, the origin of this picture is shrouded in mystery.

As you look, observe the layers of meaning: an artist’s work is stolen and made into an image by people working to make an image, and somebody has come along and added yet another layer of meaning to the image.

And as for the big chairs? Takes a lot of chutzpah.

Postcards to say something: 009

When I had a Jesus, he was looking out for the little guy, standing up against mercenary, heartless authoritarians.

Other people have a stern Jesus with a stick, making everybody do his bidding or else. Rich Jesus and Pharisee Jesus seem to be the Malibu Barbie of accessorised deities.

Part of the fun is that you can dress up Jesus just like your fantasies!

Postcards to say something 008

Thanks to reader Nerdiah for another fine submission. As the Big Sell enters Phase II, no doubt telly sets will be proclaiming “Jeebus has cancers”. Darling little cells: what an expression of divine love they turned out to be.

Still, keep your eyes on the hot chips and birds in pants: Jeebus only gets the good bits, and you can blame the rest on the Bad Fairy.