We’re Here Because We’re Here

There are people wondering why this site’s here. I’m sometimes one of them, but then I wasn’t the questionable genius who decided that it would be a great idea to hire some atheist ad-man (Angus Kinnaird of FutureBrand) to advertise church, with the brief that all the *existing* parts of christianity: church, bible and religion – should be left out of the picture.

Here’s a link to an earlier post on the subject:  – the lengths gone to are extraordinary.

So, once the creepy pedos, pastors who take comforting the flock a bit too literally, conmen, outright thieves, frauds (hi, Fake Cancer Pastor!), all the negative connotations of church and the unreliable bible, are taken out, what’s left?

Jesus. It’s very hard to pin anything on a character who’s been dead roughly 2000 years, and whose life has been rewritten by everybody from Paul through the sneaky revisionists whose grubby fingerprints can be seen in the Codex Sinaiticus. He doesn’t give interviews. He is the sizzle: no matter how lousy the steak may be, and how bad the risk of dodgy belly after-effects, the meaningless hissing noise is hard to beat.

A good ad-man can accentuate the positive. Indeed, labelling is often the first thing to be examined, and Truth can be an early casualty in the war for consumer attention.

Labels. Surely you remember a few of the classics like “Work Choices“, “Clean Feed“, “Better, Fairer PBS“… and of course there was no choice, improvement or clarification implied anywhere but the title. So it is with the “Jesus, All About Life” campaign.

A fictional persona, based on a guy who isn’t alive, being pushed as relevant to people who are? No, that’s not the big irony.

The Big Irony is that anybody who responds to the campaign gets… no, not Jesus. (The Trade Practices guys would have a field day when JC failed to materialise.)

No, what the eager respondent gets is… you guessed it: immediately seized upon by the very same churches the campaign is careful to avoid mentioning, with a fair chance of Brother Kidd-Fondle or Pastor Brown-Envelope being on staff. Then the process begins of indoctrinating the hapless newcomer with the bible that was sort-of-omitted from this ad campaign run by… that’s right: The Bible Society!

The answer, then, is that the title “Jesus: All About Lies” was quicker than “Jesus: All About Dodgy Advertising” or “Churches And Bibles: It’s What They Dare Not Mention“.

It’s right up there with buying a laptop on EBay and getting a box of rocks in the mail.

Wipe Your Feet!

The JAAL writers have lives: active lives, not necessarily centered around waiting for the next reader to pop along here, or the next piece of hate mail.

One of Jeebus’s little helpers, on a visit here,  interpreted that in his own special way to mean something or other about our worth as people, or the site or something. Frankly, I couldn’t be bothered checking. See, it isn’t his site, and he’s forgotten those instructions on manners that Jeebus, or Paul (or one of those unknown forgers identified by Bart Ehrman) put in his bible. I’ll give him Philippians 2:3 as a headstart.

Others, for reasons of their own, have chosen to view this site as a battlefield where they may earn themselves public glory fighting for Jeebus. One can imagine the results if these guys employed the same tactics in real-life: assault charges would be the least of it.

And it’s not like these chaps even want to defend their actions using that same bible they don’t know all that well.  For the major part it’s ad hominem attacks or the cyber-equivalent of Dick Size Taunts. Perhaps there is some modern-day extension of those complete absolutions which were given to those going to fight in the Crusades, so all the killing, and any torture, rape, robbery and pillaging, before the fact or during the battle, just Didn’t Count. Dibs. So There. I guess Jeebus can forgive an awful lot of stuff if you imagine him hard enough.

But, apart from being God’s Own Entitlement Bitches, just taking their place in the divinely-ordained order of things right bloody now, thank-ye-very-much, and never mind the consequences, some of the commenters seem to want more… there was a spate from a single source recently.

It was nothing new, the content of these would-be comments. The old peppered moth thing (as if evolution, or a lack thereof, made atheism less relevant, or somehow caused a god to appear through the gaps), and the same fellow having a go at the old Stalin/Hitler/Mao tactic (see? it’s so old I don’t even need to describe it!) in order to show what Baddies those Atheists are.

I don’t get paid to deal with this sort of kindy-bedtime-story stuff any more. Then along comes yet another “poster” from the same IP (although this particular persona was able to use capitalisation), with their swipe.

Could the Prophet PZ Myers have foretold their coming?

Bill Dembski’s Intelligent Design course at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary has some interesting course requirements.
provide at least 10 posts defending ID that you’ve made on “hostile” websites, the posts totalling 2,000 words, along with the URLs (i.e., web links) to each post (worth 20% of your grade).

Another 20% of the grade comes from the development of a Sunday School lesson plan.

The whole course page is a rich vein of absurdity. Have fun mining it!

Maybe the source of these entirely coincidental hits is not a course or club that demands its members get out there and actively antagonise an actively unchristian site. Does it matter?

I’m sure I’d get very short shrift and a long push to the front gate, should I show up in a church or a christian forum with the attitude they show. And this is NOT a forum.

I’m pushed to find time to write: why would I want to devote some of what little I have, to gratifying the Precious Little Snowflakes, so they can earn their Cyber-Martyr Badge in Royal Rangers, or whatever the club may be?

Answer: I don’t. That is why I give the blighters one shot. And it normally seems to hit them just behind the place where big and second toe meet… just where Jeebus’s sandal strap might have gone, or a good place for a nail hole (at least in some paintings).

Those I’ve annoyed know who they are, and although they may not have wiped their feet on the way in, they can now use the biblical injunction to “shake the dust off their sandals”, along with the folk wisdom about the swing door and their buttocks.

I’ve been giving a lot of thought of late to the human debris left behind after the Jeebus Juggernaut passes, and I think the wreckage of after-christianity is more deserving of my time than its martyr wannabees. But that is yet another story….

Black

PS: Other JAAL writers might not share my comment policy, and that’s their prerogative.

I delete pointless, stupid comments. Spend your Sunday School money on a site if you want a soapbox.

The Theory of Evolution – What a scientific theory actually means

I have had to deal with so many christians lately with the standard reply that ‘evolution is just a theory’, and that there is another theory, that of ‘Intelligent Design’.

I thought I would break down what a scientific theory actually means to try and make it as small a possible explanation, for those christians hard of hearing, and are totally ignoring what ‘theory’ means in science.

The ‘Theory of Evolution’ is different to the ‘Fact of Evolution’. Evolution is a fact, however in science, theory means something, it does not mean the whole concept is still in dispute, evolution is fact, it is talking about the mechanism. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts do not go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them.

Commonly ‘fact’ is used to refer to the observable changes in organisms’ traits over generations, evolution is PROVEN FACT. It occurs.

The word ‘theory’ is reserved for the mechanisms that cause these changes, that part is the Theory of Evolution.

Now to understand what theory means in science. In science, a current theory is a theory that has no equally acceptable or more acceptable alternative theory, and has survived attempts at falsification. That is, there have been no observations made which contradict it to this point and, indeed, every observation ever made either supports the current theory or at least does not falsify it by contradicting it completely. A revision of the current theory, or the generation of a new theory is necessary if new observations contradict the current theory, as the current findings are in need of a new explanation. However, the falsification of a theory does not falsify the facts on which the theory is based.

Evolution is FACT, the Theory of Evolution is the accepted idea of Darwin’s, as well as 2 others built up since the discovery of DNA by various scientists, over WHY evolution is fact. Darwin just started a whole CHAIN of ideas since his initial discovery, that build the Theory of Evolution.

The three main mechanisms that produce evolution in the theory, are natural selection, genetic drift, and gene flow. Natural selection favors genes that improve capacity for survival and reproduction. Genetic drift is random change in the frequency of alleles, caused by the random sampling of a generation’s genes during reproduction. Gene flow is the transfer of genes within and between populations.

geddit?

How is Intelligent Design a fact? What is the theory, that has no contradictions, that explains it?

Intelligent Design is not a fact, it is not a theory. It’s a BELIEF.

McJeebus – the Sappy Meal pick ‘n’ choose menu

Ever tried to stand on a stair that wasn’t there? Swiped at an optical illusion and (of course) missed?

If you have, you’ll be part-way to identifying with somebody I know. As a good, skeptical atheist person, my friend has been known to reply with questions and doubt, when buzzed by the whiny mosquitoes of constant evangelising. Indeed, my friend decided to put in some serious work on deprogramming…

…my younger sister. The irony is that she has the information. To her credit she has watched almost all of my atheist DVDs including ‘How the earth began’ and still chooses to believe in her god. Her faith seems impenetrable.

… Her attraction to Christianity is that she feels it provides answers to the randomness of life; it provides consolation and hope. She enjoys the warm of fuzzy of a sky daddy looking out for her. It helps her deal with death and believes it gives her moral guidance.

… Any anomaly I raise with her she may concede but ultimately puts it down to unquestionable faith. “I don’t have the answers but that doesn’t stop me from believing.”

Her church is youth based, Hillsong in its style, lots of singing and praise. It fills her needs to be loved and to extend love to others. It seems details are unimportant. Trying to discuss religion with her is like shadow boxing; an exercise in frustration. So I don’t bother. As long as the idea of god serves a purpose, she’ll hold onto the delusion.

At McJeebus™, the Church Of All Spirit, No Substance, we don’t mind if you ditch the pickle: bins are provided. Straight to the sundae every Sunday? No wucking Mc Jeebus™ Flurries!

It doesn’t really matter what the young footsoldier of Corporate Jesus believes. They don’t have to do more than the old Kenneth Hagin Cop-Out -  ‘The Bible says it, I believe it and that settles it!’ – for that matter, they don’t need to know more Bible than a couple of soundbites such as you might find in a Darlene Zschech song. Certainly contextual reading is out of style. In the age of Twitter, it seems Jesus’s frontliners only need to be twits.

As long as the collections keep coming in, the recruiting happens (come on, how many kids/young adults go to Youth Alight or Plastic Shakers or any of the Jesus Lite™ MoshPits for the noise and proximity of potential jigginess? Lots, I bet!) and the Merch keeps selling, things are good.

Need footsoldiers for a demonstration of numbers, signatures for a development application (sign twice, it’s extra nice!), “volunteers” for those lucrative symposium/conference/rally/merch opportunity occasions? Just keep the excitement flowing, and hordes of young’uns will stack your chairs, stuff your envelopes, carry your (notes and cheques only, please) holey-bottomed collection buckets.

There’s a certain comfort for the management when questions aren’t asked. The members who are just there for the “Ooh! Ponies!” feeling don’t have a foundation to rock. By the time the Holy Spirit Of Endorphins™ has stopped stimulating them, they’re either settled-in as regular tithers (and breeders of NextGen McJeebus™ Consumers) and will sit quietly, or used-up, and should be swept aside for fresh meat. You don’t get to sit too long in Mickey Dee’s if you’re not buying, and woe betide the blow-ins who just want to use the dunnies.

If you’ve gotten this far down the page and haven’t blown an artery, you’re probably an atheist or agnostic. Good. Here’s some advice: don’t bother with the McJeebus Happy-Mealers. You won’t convince ‘em of anything while they’re too busy chasing the sugar rush. Don’t waste your time: you can come back when they’re older and knackered from a constant diet of rubbish. They’ll eventually be out of the drive-thru: as Tanya Levin says of one of these churches: “There is a 50 per cent turnover every five years. Hillsong is renowned for having a very big back door.”

After pap like that, a diet of stone-ground skepticism will probably be very welcome.

Why I Don’t Want A Christian Bus Driver

I want to ride in an atheist-driven bus. My problem isn’t with the driver’s personal choice of religion, even though we’ll probably never get started if the side of the vehicle reads “There’s Probably No God, So Stop Worrying And Enjoy Your Life”.

Driver hissy-fits may be annoying, but they pale into insignificance beside the real threat of Christ-addled drivers – disassociation.

Even discounting the unlikely event that Your Friendly Driver Is …Keith… will suddenly evaporate, or rise ethereally through the roof of the bus, or however they choose to do it (I understand the church is in consultation with George Lucas’s effects people), my major concern is…

misguided nonchalance.

A sticker advising me that my driver’s mind is mostly in heaven while he’s on the job? Not good for my confidence, thanks. I want a driver whose apprehension of death or injury matches or exceeds my own, not some guy marking time till his sky-fairy says, “Grab your things, I’ve come to take you home.”

And don’t get me started on planes.

That Sully bloke who put the jet down on the Hudson River: I’ll have a down-to-earth guy like him in case of emergency, not somebody content to lead his fellow-plummeters in a prayer over the cabin intercom.

Dear drivers and pilots, if my life is in your hands, I would prefer to live it here. For a long time, if possible. Your assistance is appreciated.