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  • Passing the Vibe

    According to the Catch The Fire Ministries blog:

    Dr Jackson from the USA encouraged the Body of Christ in Australia to trust in the Lord as our Shepherd! (Psalm 23) Many were mightily touched by the prophetic Word from the Lord and the presence of God! Pastor Daniel also received his Honorary Doctorate of Divinity Degree from St Thomas Christian College in Jacksonville, Florida, USA. Dr Jackson officially conferred this degree on him and then pronounced, “from today you shall now be called Dr Daniel Nalliah.” At this point the whole crowd erupted in a standing ovation of highly emotional shouts of joy and praise to God!

    Then the lovely wife and beautiful children of Dr Daniel joined hands with him, along with his sister and her husband who had travelled all the way from Sri Lanka for this very special day, to thank their Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ for this wonderful honour. With tears of joy, Dr Daniel shared, “I do not deserve this. It is nothing but the grace of God. I thank you all for standing together with us as a family and ministry. I know for sure that we can reclaim Australia for Jesus. We cannot let another generation pass by. I believe that we in this generation will see the promises of God and His prophetic destiny for our nation of Australia fulfilled in this Great South Land of the Holy Spirit.”

    Now, I don’t totally disregard Danny’s words in the above. “I do not deserve this.” – There’s a statement I have no problem with.

    This man, legitimate winner of such awards as the Gold Ernie for most sexist public utterance of 2009, and Best Sideshow Barker, Mount Ainslie Circus, thinks he’s got a doctorate.

    Now, whoa a minute while we go over some preamble to the ceremony…

    • Is this Jackson fellow a doctor, as in actual Ph.D, earned by writing a proper dissertation and bestowed by a reputable university? It’s uncertain. Zamekio Jackson seems to spend a lot of time bestowing honorary Ph.Ds throughout the States. Danny’s is only special in that it involved overseas travel.
    • “The Guest speaker Dr. Jackson from the USA is a mighty man of God who is the president of an International Bible College and oversees 348 churches across America. He is a man of prayer who has experienced many mighty miracles as he travels across the nations to minister the Word of God.” – Catch The Fire blog, 24 Jan 2010… but Groupsects blog got to the bottom of the Jackson empire of 300 churches to find “Basically Zamekio has set up his own (unaccredited) college and denomination and if you cough-up the fees you and your church can join too. It’s a business, including the usual lucrative speaking circuit scenario, not a ‘ministerial oversight’ situation. At best, this is a misrepresentation by Nalliah.”
    • And the college bestowing this honorary degree that Danny seems keen to trade upon? “

    I’ve spent several weeks digging into this ‘College’ and nothing about it checks out at all.

    Thanks to Google maps Street View you can cross check the addresses of facilities and none of them match up.

    Where there’s supposed to be a college campus, there’s just a row of houses. Where there’s meant to be a church, there are empty shops. Or the address given simply doesn’t exist.” – Groupsects

    Chasing myself up here, but I just did some research via Google Maps and Street View on the “college” that’s awarding Danny “Cash In On The Fire Ministries” Nalliah an honorary doctorate (which he better not start treating like a real one)… “Google Maps Link to St Thomas Christian College – 1624 Edgewood Avenue West, Jacksonville, FL, United States” shows a tinpot couple of houses and a parking lot.

    The 570 Ellis Rd S, Jacksonville address shows a building the size of a small-town hardware store (about 50 car parks), next to the Mental Health Center.

    6507 West Beaver Street, Jacksonville, the “Seminary and Graduate School”, appears to be an abandoned petrol station. - Black, in the AFA forums

    The address listed for the accrediting institution (the ‘Southeastern Association of Christian Colleges’), 402 Tabernacle Rd, Ehrhardt, SC does not exist.

    There is no ‘Tabernacle Rd’ in Ehrhardt, South Carolina.

    This forum post sheds more light.

    “Hmmm, St. Thomas Christian College and Theological Seminary? Hmmm, accredited by the Southeastern Association of Christian Colleges (a play off of the legitimate Southern Association of Colleges and Schools). It is funny that in the “schools” information pages it even gets the name of the bogus accrediting body wrong on a 2nd page about accreditation (it is also grammatically incorrect with regard to case, etc.) LOLOL This place is a serious diploma mill. The name of the “college” itself is a rip-off of the name of the legitimate St. Thomas University of Miami Gardens, Florida (which is a Catholic college, run by the Augustinian Friars).”

    Ah, St Thomas, ever dubious!

    So, basically, somebody who may not be a doctor, from a university that isn’t really a university, confers a degree that isn’t actually a degree on Danny.

    How should he now be styled? Fortunately, I remember the mail-order catalogues from Fyshwick, back in my younger days. The answer is simple:

    NonDoc600

    Danny Nalliah is The New Non-Doctor!

    PS: The Great South Land Of The Holy Spirit is actually the Island Espiritu Santo in Vanuatu: it was never Australia. Check this out! Is this Pentefundacostal scholarship in bloom?

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  • Postcards to say something 025: Eating The Red Words Last…

    OTLaws600

    It’s all been said a lot of times, but apparently some skulls are too thick and need Applied Percussive Maintenance™.

    Whether or not your list of uncleans, abominations and what have we applies to the modern christian or not, there is no call from any word of Jesus in your bible that any law or rule for believers should in any way be applied to unbelievers.

    Does this make you look suspiciously at the motives of those who want to get into government and enforce universal compliance with “christian” rules? If I still believed in a Jesus who was other than a being of fable, I’d see him knotting up the ol’ Pharisee Whacker 5000™ for another round.

    Still, carry on, lads! If you manage to make the whole world act godly, there won’t be any need for a god anyhow…

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  • Postcards to say something – 019: Jesus thinks you’re a jerk.

    From a certain political aspirant (with emphasis on the ass and the rant) came this delightful piece of hate mail, spread below like a puddle of (sic):

    “Is it a reflection on your own in ability to gain publicity that u had to hijack jesusallaboutlife web site? Pretty pathetic effort! And why do u only attack Christians? Where are ur web sites attacking Islam, buddism Hindu etc. I guess Christians r just a soft target! U wouldn’t want to offend anyone who might fight back eh! PS it wasn’t me who disabled ur web site, but more power to whoever it was. Not because I disagree with free speech, but because u hijacked th domain name. Did u do that to try to stiffle th Christians right to free speach? Surely not!”

    Dear boy:

    1. English lessons. Get some in.

    2. Hijack? We own this site, and there is no attempt to pass it off as anything but the commentary and satirical site it is. Legal, we are! We have owned this site from inception.

    3. If you’d like to observe me and my playmates giving the other silly superstitions a rousing send-off, I suspect one of your carers can direct you to the Atheist Foundation. This is, after all, Jesus – All About Lies, not Krishna – All About Being A Blue Dude Who Likes Cows.

    4. Christians are not a soft target. You have undue influence, and the fact that some of you cannot pull 2% in a Federal poll may be due to your personal shortcomings. Who’s the cheeky little deity who gets prayers said before Parliament? All I’m saying is the privilege you enjoy is certainly not due to merit.

    5. It was not this web site which was disabled. Anyway, what I read from your message, is that a potential Federal politician tacitly supports cyberterrorism. I shall remember this, and don’t be surprised if you wind up with a Federal Police dossier.

    6. If you were not so egregiously stupid, and were not under the false impression that a domain name was hijacked, you would realise that nobody’s right to free speech is being stifled. We have had some interesting dialogues with christians here. (And occasional comic monologues from clowns like you, but that’s hardly the point.)

    7. Go and look through the gospels and find the bit about Peter, the sword, and Malchus’s ear. What does this say to you, as a believer, regarding any christian who goes intending to do damage or harm on behalf of his god?

    8. AFA and the Convention site were certainly targetted, but nobody’s claiming responsibility. What if this was just somebody’s test run, a sort of “Look, I can do it” before mounting an extortion attack on, say, the Anglicans, Catholics or another wealthy christian organisation? Does this change your opinion of the perpetrators?

    Here’s a postcard just for you, in recognition of your sterling effort. Please write again, and this time we expect better than a regurgitation of that farrago of fallacies you copied from the newspaper, and added a hasty “so there!” before posting.

    jeebus_hack600

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  • Postcards to say something 018 – Mercy Killing

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    To all those who spoke out against those blame-the-victim, exorcism-driven exploiters of damaged young women, ironically known as Mercy Ministries, Thanks.

    Especially, kudos to  Sean the Blogonaut, whose tenacious pursuit of the truth has followed the path of twisty little redefinitions and disavowals, and John from Against Biblical Counselling, who may have hit on a plausible reason why Nancy Alcorn’s enterprise concentrates heavily on eating disorders and homosexuality.

    And to the ex-Mercy survivors, the hope that this brings some comfort. The power to succeed is yours.

    No thanks at all to the christians who suspected something was amiss, but wouldn’t speak out because that would be “letting the side down”.

    The job’s not finished yet. There are still charlatans doing damage to the already-damaged, dealing in a hoodoo world of demons, “spiritual warfare” and other unverifiable hooey, often to the increase of their own wealth and prestige. (You can test this one for yourself by taking notes and see who does well out of exorcisms: the victims are rarely permanently better, but the “practitioners” do quite well indeed.) Jesus may not have answers, but these slick witchdoctors do.

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  • Postcards to say something: 015

    JesusPuppetHazAnswers600

    God speaks? No, people do that.

    Whether it’s the Voice of Doom telling us there’s a Pudding with our name on it unless we comply, Danny “Catch The Liar” Nalliah telling the gullible about the Invisible Soul-Snatching Goblins, or just the domestic-model nutjob with a hobby or a fancy, wanting to add a little more authority to his demands… people speak on behalf of god.

    It’s a neat trick. With enough cult indoctrination, you too can learn to develop voices in your head.  Or pretend you hear ‘em, and say what you jolly well like.

    Remember:

    • Be solemn (unless you’re Pentecostal, in which case just avoid making the chicken noises too often);
    • Use the Third Person… “The Lord says…”  (don’t want the audience thinking you’re doing it off your own bat!);
    • Plausible deniability helps: “if your faith is great enough” is a trusty standy;
    • Only tell the parishioners you fancy that “God wants us to be together” in private… (Bonus points if you check for a mike first).
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  • Postcards to say something: 013a – Exhilarating Mountain Air

    High_Places1024

    Danny Nutjob Nalliah is ready to go “Ooga-booga-pappa-oom-mow-mow!” atop a Canberra scenic lookout, to keep the invisible bogeymen from eating our crops, stealing our shoes and souring the milk.

    This has caused some amusement in certain journalistic circles.

    There is no proof that the “sacrifice” was blood in the first place (and eyewitnesses to the suspect stain have said it looked more like nasty cask red spilled by a nocturnal sightseer).

    Let us not forget that one of the maddies, wending his way up the hill with figurative pitchfork and pine-tar torch aloft, will be Senator-for-now Fielding. Note to all readers, even our more rational believer friends: Fielding and his like must not be allowed to happen again.

    A bounty of five papal indulgences is offered for each demon-scalp presented to the editorial desk at Black Tower (or leave scalps, individually wrapped, at reception in Legion HQ, Sydney, but be sure to ask for a receipt).

    Disclaimer: The bounty for demon-scalps is subsidised by a grant from Catch The Liar Ministries.

  • Postcards to say something: 013 – The Mammonary Glands

    taxbreaks800

    Giving the theologians a rest, and letting the economists loose for a moment. The Purple Economy would be a good jumping-in point.

    Money for anybody’s good works may be justified, but tax exemptions, subsidies and other breaks, for the purpose of spreading the brain-virus further? It’s so patently dishonest, the first thing that one sees is generally apologists yawping about the “good works”.

    Would churches be prepared to let all charities be subject to the same rules for funding and taxation, and “charities” to be defined in a way that didn’t include proselytising?

    Would the carpetbagging Hinn-jet and the Houston family property portfolio, for example, suffer under such arrangements?

    What of the property portfolios of some of the more “traditional” churches, asset-rich with dwindling, ageing congregations?

    How much would actual charities like the Bob McGuire Foundation be able to disburse if there was a tie between funding and works?

    Well, let your mind boggle… nobody’s lifting the veil of secrecy from that one while there’s a buck to be salted away or diverted to propaganda purposes.

  • Postcards: Sermon On Mount Panorama Special Edition

    Bathurst2_800

    How many blankets, dinners, literacy courses and saved lives went about 130km round a road today? And for what?

    Did You Know: V8 Supercars are now all practically the same under the skin, no matter what “brand” they wear?

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  • Those Missing $240 “All About Life” Banners…

    WhereISBanner1024

    A plausible theory for the disappearance of those bits of $240 Babble Society merchandise? An indicator of the way things might have been if Jesus was all about the lives that don’t have too many hot chips because it’s cold in the dumpster?

    It makes you think… so quickly, think of something nice, like birds in pants.

    If the big banner out front is down, the church might see the street, and that would never do, would it?

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  • Postcards to say something: 009

    baby_gay_elvis_jeebus

    When I had a Jesus, he was looking out for the little guy, standing up against mercenary, heartless authoritarians.

    Other people have a stern Jesus with a stick, making everybody do his bidding or else. Rich Jesus and Pharisee Jesus seem to be the Malibu Barbie of accessorised deities.

    Part of the fun is that you can dress up Jesus just like your fantasies!

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