Those Missing $240 “All About Life” Banners…

A plausible theory for the disappearance of those bits of $240 Babble Society merchandise? An indicator of the way things might have been if Jesus was all about the lives that don’t have too many hot chips because it’s cold in the dumpster?

It makes you think… so quickly, think of something nice, like birds in pants.

If the big banner out front is down, the church might see the street, and that would never do, would it?

Jesus Has Asses!

A recent commenter was destined for that Big Bin Where The Bozos Go, but my colleague Gee Suss rescued him from obscurity.

If you would believe it, he was simply “bob” and although logs show him as coming from near Burwood, he chose to give a bogus email address (normally an instant ticket to the bin) and simply message us with

(link to a Youtube video of some 27 minutes’ duration)

i win

Not substantial by anybody’s standards, huh?

Gee Suss is a methodical chap, and watched the video. His dissection of it shows…

Even ‘Answers in Genesis’ a full on creationist website contains the above in the ‘Arguments Creationists should NEVER use’ list and a refutation of the claims by Ron Wyatt

Even the creationist idiot Kent Hovind knows he is a fraud, and Hovind is just a plain ignoramus himself.

Check out their report http://www.answersingenesis.org/creation/v14/i4/report.asp

… that “bob” has chosen a dud. At least he’s consistent.

So, “bob”, this one’s for you, and the Jesus who encourages you to do the online equivalent of placing burning bags of poo on doorsteps. I am sure he’s proud.

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Simple, beautiful and only a meanyhead would deny the existence of such a wonderful being! You cannot disprove this.

No, we’re talking about the unicorn.

(A nod of the goateed chin to our friend Mr C.T. Pot!)

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An old friend, Anonymous Trad, sent me this. Like the lovely folk songs Mr Trad has been providing for a number of years now, the origin of this picture is shrouded in mystery.

As you look, observe the layers of meaning: an artist’s work is stolen and made into an image by people working to make an image, and somebody has come along and added yet another layer of meaning to the image.

And as for the big chairs? Takes a lot of chutzpah.

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When I had a Jesus, he was looking out for the little guy, standing up against mercenary, heartless authoritarians.

Other people have a stern Jesus with a stick, making everybody do his bidding or else. Rich Jesus and Pharisee Jesus seem to be the Malibu Barbie of accessorised deities.

Part of the fun is that you can dress up Jesus just like your fantasies!

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Thanks to reader Nerdiah for another fine submission. As the Big Sell enters Phase II, no doubt telly sets will be proclaiming “Jeebus has cancers”. Darling little cells: what an expression of divine love they turned out to be.

Still, keep your eyes on the hot chips and birds in pants: Jeebus only gets the good bits, and you can blame the rest on the Bad Fairy.

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Licensed to feel ill…

Looks like the fluffy bunny and kitty will have the legally-sanctioned hatred of the church to deal with in Victoria. (Let Sean the Blogonaut tell you about it.)

Sundays JesusAAL submitted picture

Ignoring the starving children, the Jesus All About Life campaign is focusing on cute pictures and claiming jesus gives answers, while really just ignoring them.

Here’s their Sunday contribution on FaceBook.

Maybe they should use ones like this?

Maybe caption this one? (Warning graphic images of dead children from natural disaster) You know, something about how jesus creates tsunamis that kills children then says ‘it’s to teach you to believe in me, so you can go to heaven’. What a bastard. This isn’t a laughing matter, I’d like to see exactly how this jesus is answering this.

I’ve actually asked on some christian sites about JAAL, and recommended a list of answers that christians really need to answer to gain some credibility, I’ll repost them here :

If you REALLY want to make a difference, and reach non-christians, you have to face and answer the massive evidence and critiques of your faith with actual ANSWERS. You don’t give any. You just state ‘Jesus is the answer’, with nothing to back it up. There is basically ‘he will make you feel better if you believe’.

You have to :

1/ Show logic and reason behind the existence of a supernatural entity other than pointing continually at your bible and using it’s phrases to point out positions that most all humans find totally obvious regardless as we are evolutionary socialistic beings.

2/ Show how your god is the one true god, amongst hundreds of others, and thousands that have gone before you.

3/ Show us the evidence of the claims for a young earth, and the ‘fact’ of creation that you claim is an alternative Theory (and look up how a scientific theory actually works) to the evolution of humans from a common ancestor to other life. Actually read up on what evolution actually is, that it is seperate from abiogenesis and cosmology, and approach the facts, not the straw man you put forward

4/ Stop trying to point at non-belief, and saying it is a belief (like not stamp collecting is a ‘hobby’) as it does not make sense to anyone but you.

5/ Explain why we have mountains of evidence that contradict the creationists claims, why the mass of evidence in radioactivity, tree rings, ice cores, corals, supernovas – from astronomy, biology, physics, geology, chemistry and archeology all combine and go against your faiths concepts.

6/ explain why your god has always existed, and the universe in some form, couldn’t. (you may want to actually read up on scientific concepts like singularities and bubble universes etc etc)

somehow I am pretty sure none of this will be answered, they’ll just keep on keeping on commoditising their jesus.

So what’s the answer? praying to Jesus? Or actually getting off your knees and doing something?

Scrapings from the comment bin

Golly, it must be one of those Jungian synchronicity things… I was preparing a visual response (above) to one of the many comments that just don’t make it, and a colleague was replying by mail to the same member of Generation SuperficialBook™.

Here’s what he had to say:

I guess another mod deleted your comment to save you from looking like an idiot for not actually reading content on the pages posts, but just looking at pictures, then judging us on that.

What drives me personally, is that christians continually force themselves to have more rights than others. They also fight basic concepts of science, where humanity has to deal with people who believe bronze age concepts of the earth, and push it into our schools. Religion has a status above and beyond any secular group doing the same thing. Our children are brought up in a world where your bigotry is continually being reinforced as moralistic.

YOUR religion pushes itself and tries to tell OTHERS what to do. You invade our laws and try and tell women what they can do with their bodies, their lives, you say who people can love and show commitment to, you actively stop secular parents from being able to have their children taught ANYTHING while your kids get brainwashed by scripture. You hypocrite.

Have a read of some of these articles, then come back and post something that doesn’t make you look like an uneducated bigot cheers!

Thanks to my colleague Gee Suss.

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Real estate, motorcycles, flash cars, Lear jets: use of the church’s this or that (even the this or that which was especially purchased for your use). The anointing greases the palm.

God wants you to have more money. (Actually, Bob McGuire can keep the poor people as long as the archbishop gets the Money!)

It’s a great lurk. The blokes in Acts, who used to serve in distributing to the needy, have been replaced by those who are ready to see their own wants as “needs”, and see to them pretty swiftly.

Government slaves to work on your house? No problem!

And if you’re the shepherd, who gets to say how you spend the wool-cheque, or tell you off for taking a ewe or little lamb to keep you warm at night?

No wonder the campaign points away from the churches, while trying to get people to connect with those churches. You’d be mad to point out the truth.