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  • Postcards to say something: 021 – Day Of The Dead


    I buried my Stepfather today. He was more of a dad to me than the gene donor.

    He was not a learned man, although he was more than brilliant in practical ways. Bush mechanicking and skill with even difficult animals were just two of the things that, like his ears, stuck out.

    We had to try a little harder to get along together than is the case for blood-relatives (I’ll excuse my father from this particular comparison), but I thought I knew the man.

    His entry into christianity was gradual, as this man had a low tolerance for bullshit. He was apparently scared into the flock by some of that alarmist material Stan Deyo was putting out in the late 70s.

    The man I knew was kind. Not a soft touch, and guaranteed to give the “pretend-looking-for-work” bloke some actual hard work to do, but a fair reward at the end. Of course, association with church people influenced him over the years.

    I haven’t had a lot of contact with the old man since my mother died. He went to stay with the sister I can’t stand, and I gather he attends her church in the relatively-affluent suburb where she and her unpleasant husband live.

    I don’t know what sort of tolerance and charity Affluent Jeebus teaches, being of the sort who thought, even when a believer, that the whole Jesus thing was more about the unempowered.

    Still, when the only email I get from him in months is all BIG RED LETTERS, saying:

    Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of :


    And here’s your game show host…here’s KEVVVIIINNN !!!

    Today’s program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition:

    Hop on a boat

    And win


    We’ve already given away hundreds of millions of dollars and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor,

    The Australian Taxpayer.

    And don’t forget, we’re now the fastest growing game on the planet.

    Anyone can play, provided they don’t already hold a valid Australian Passport, and you only need one word of English:


    Prizes include all-expenses-paid accommodation, cash benefits starting at $800 a week and a chance to earn thousands more begging, mugging and accosting drivers at traffic lights.

    This competition is open to everyone,
    buy a ticket to Indonesia

    And catch the first available boat.

    No application ever refused – reasonable or unreasonable.

    All you have to do is destroy all your papers or burn your boat once you

    Enter Australian waters and remember the magic password:


    A few years ago, 140 members of the Taliban family from Afghanistan were flown Goat Class from Kabul to Indonesia’s gateway where agents were on hand to fast-track them to their boat trips to luxury accommodation

    They joined tens of thousands of other lucky winners already staying in hotels all over Australia

    Our most popular destinations also include the Baxter’s reef and the world famous Christmas Island resort

    If you still don’t understand the rules, don’t forget, there’s no need to phone a friend or ask the audience

    Just apply for legal aid.

    Hundreds of lawyers, social workers and counsellors are waiting to help.

    It won’t cost you a penny.

    It could change your life forever .
    So play today.

    Iraqi terrorists, Afghan dissidents, Albanian gangsters, pro-Pinochet activists, anti-Pinochet activists, Kosovan drug-smugglers, Tamil tigers, bogus Bosnians, Rwandan mass murderers, Somali guerrillas…


    Get along to the Indonesia fishing ports

    Don’t stop in Thailand or Bali

    Go straight to Australia

    And you are:


    to be one of tens of thousands of lucky winners in the easiest game on earth.

    Everyone’s a winner, when they play


    … then I know the man I once held dear has died.

    And may they put Anglo Jesus in the ground with him, before I piss on it.