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Be patient: after all, some of you have been waiting 2,000 years for a no-show.
Postcards to say “Boo!”
Just when you thought it was safe to get back into the holy water…
Where have we been? Jeebus has answers, but he isn’t saying.
Christians are waiting for the end times, when Jesus will come back and do all the wondrous things he promised (you know, the apocalypse and all that).
But the thing was, if Jesus did exist, he was a bloody liar! The promised apocalypse is running WAY behind schedule.
Jesus told his followers he would return in their lifetime:
Verily I say unto you, All these things shall come upon this generation. – Matthew 23:36
Then he makes a bunch of prophecies, and tells his listeners that these will happen in their lifetime too:
Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled. – Matthew 24:34
In this passage Jesus claimed that some of the people standing there when he spoke, would still be alive when Jesus came back from heaven:
Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.
It’s not just in Matthew that Jesus’s lies are apparent, he says them all over again in Mark!
Verily I say unto you, that this generation shall not pass, till all these things be done. – Mark 13:30-31
And here Jesus says it again, he’ll be back any day now….
And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That there be some of them that stand here, which shall not taste of death, till they have seen the kingdom of God come with power. – Mark 9:1
These words about not tasting death are a recurrent theme, here’s Luke quoting Jesus::
But I tell you of a truth, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the kingdom of God. – Luke 9:27
The Christians like telling you that Jesus is coming back, any day now. You’d better believe what they tell you, ’cause their god is just about to jump out of the clouds… But he’s been about to “come back any day now” for a good two thousand years.
The Christians will tell you that I’m interpreting this all wrong, and that any part of the Bible that doesn’t make sense in light of the evidence is a “metaphor”. Rubbish. Go and read it for yourself, the claims of this Jesus character have clearly been contradicted by that book that Christians keep trying to thump us with.
NOTE: All quotes in this post were KJV.