Jesus Goes To Hill$ong Because The Corporate Catering’s Better
Another reason the various Jesus franchises are irrelevant these days, is that Jesus only appears to have a selective social conscience. Back in the (alleged) old biblical days when there were stern regulations on everything, there were rules against withholding pay and entitlements. Yes, these are those same rules and reg which are cherry-picked when Benny Mk 16,
Fred the Nihilist,
or some other upstanding Fist Of God wants to have a go at the gays or some other group.
Anyway, what did the old version have to say?
Leviticus 19:13 – Thou shalt not defraud thy neighbour, neither rob him: the wages of him that is hired shall not abide with thee all night until the morning.
Let’s chuck in a couple of prophets from the old testament, just to show that the Leviticus thing wasn’t a blip on an otherwise-clear radar…
Jeremiah 22:13 – Woe unto him that buildeth his house by unrighteousness, and his chambers by wrong; that useth his neighbour’s service without wages, and giveth him not for his work;
Malachi 3:5 – And I will come near to you to judgment; and I will be a swift witness against the sorcerers, and against the adulterers, and against false swearers, and against those that oppress the hireling in his wages, the widow, and the fatherless, and that turn aside the stranger from his right, and fear not me, saith the LORD of hosts.
So, among the other poor and powerless, workers getting stiffed for wages and entitlements gets a specific mention.
You’d think the holy-rollers would have put down their copies of Brian Houston’s “You Need More Money” and showed up, en masse, in solidarity at a picket or two by now, but nah.
Here‘s a situation:
Three hundred and thirty eight workers at Drivetrain Systems in Lavington (Albury),the only manufacturer of gear boxes in Australia, have been sacked without pay or entitlements as management proceeds to strip the factory of an estimated $17 million in assets.
Workers are camped at the gates of the factory demanding about $25 million dollars in entitlements owed to the workforce. In December management and the AMWU assured employees that their entitlements were safe at the troubled business. On Friday workers were sacked without pay, and informed that there was simply no money.
“Between now and December they’ve been spent our entitlements” said one worker “we don’t know what on”.
Whilst all workers were sacked without pay, management and executive staff were retained on full wages. Management still occupies the factory.
Workers say that there are still $17 million dollars worth of gear boxes still at the Kaitlers Road factory, but they fear they won’t see a cent. The administrator has announced that the payment of financial creditors comes before giving workers their due entitlements.
Management has embarked on a deliberate campaign to split workers at the Kaitlers Road factory. Management has said they will re-employ a third of the workforce for a period of eight weeks, but have not stated which third of the workforce will be re-employed.
So, that’s bad dealing by old testament standards. Can the christians of the 21st century ignore it, along with that silly ban on eating molluscs, and hack into another half-dozen oysters Kilpatrick while those scruffy lefties shuffle up and down outside the perfectly respectable factory?
Here’s just one from the new testament, to whet your appetite if the oysters didn’t get you going…
James 5:4 – Behold, the hire of the labourers who have reaped down your fields, which is of you kept back by fraud, crieth: and the cries of them which have reaped are entered into the ears of the Lord of sabaoth.
Now I don’t expect this to make a single bloody whit of difference. Any christian reading this will have worked out any dozen reasons to dismiss what I’m reading from their very own sourcebook. After all, I’m a vile apostate.
And Jesus, as they will be told from respectable pulpits up and down the country, was a conservative. A guy who never raised his hand to a profiteer.
The Theory of Evolution – What a scientific theory actually means
I have had to deal with so many christians lately with the standard reply that ‘evolution is just a theory’, and that there is another theory, that of ‘Intelligent Design’.
I thought I would break down what a scientific theory actually means to try and make it as small a possible explanation, for those christians hard of hearing, and are totally ignoring what ‘theory’ means in science.
The ‘Theory of Evolution’ is different to the ‘Fact of Evolution’. Evolution is a fact, however in science, theory means something, it does not mean the whole concept is still in dispute, evolution is fact, it is talking about the mechanism. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts do not go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them.
Commonly ‘fact’ is used to refer to the observable changes in organisms’ traits over generations, evolution is PROVEN FACT. It occurs.
The word ‘theory’ is reserved for the mechanisms that cause these changes, that part is the Theory of Evolution.
Now to understand what theory means in science. In science, a current theory is a theory that has no equally acceptable or more acceptable alternative theory, and has survived attempts at falsification. That is, there have been no observations made which contradict it to this point and, indeed, every observation ever made either supports the current theory or at least does not falsify it by contradicting it completely. A revision of the current theory, or the generation of a new theory is necessary if new observations contradict the current theory, as the current findings are in need of a new explanation. However, the falsification of a theory does not falsify the facts on which the theory is based.
Evolution is FACT, the Theory of Evolution is the accepted idea of Darwin’s, as well as 2 others built up since the discovery of DNA by various scientists, over WHY evolution is fact. Darwin just started a whole CHAIN of ideas since his initial discovery, that build the Theory of Evolution.
The three main mechanisms that produce evolution in the theory, are natural selection, genetic drift, and gene flow. Natural selection favors genes that improve capacity for survival and reproduction. Genetic drift is random change in the frequency of alleles, caused by the random sampling of a generation’s genes during reproduction. Gene flow is the transfer of genes within and between populations.
How is Intelligent Design a fact? What is the theory, that has no contradictions, that explains it?
Intelligent Design is not a fact, it is not a theory. It’s a BELIEF.
McJeebus – the Sappy Meal pick ‘n’ choose menu
Ever tried to stand on a stair that wasn’t there? Swiped at an optical illusion and (of course) missed?
If you have, you’ll be part-way to identifying with somebody I know. As a good, skeptical atheist person, my friend has been known to reply with questions and doubt, when buzzed by the whiny mosquitoes of constant evangelising. Indeed, my friend decided to put in some serious work on deprogramming…
…my younger sister. The irony is that she has the information. To her credit she has watched almost all of my atheist DVDs including ‘How the earth began’ and still chooses to believe in her god. Her faith seems impenetrable.
… Her attraction to Christianity is that she feels it provides answers to the randomness of life; it provides consolation and hope. She enjoys the warm of fuzzy of a sky daddy looking out for her. It helps her deal with death and believes it gives her moral guidance.
… Any anomaly I raise with her she may concede but ultimately puts it down to unquestionable faith. “I don’t have the answers but that doesn’t stop me from believing.”
Her church is youth based, Hillsong in its style, lots of singing and praise. It fills her needs to be loved and to extend love to others. It seems details are unimportant. Trying to discuss religion with her is like shadow boxing; an exercise in frustration. So I don’t bother. As long as the idea of god serves a purpose, she’ll hold onto the delusion.
At McJeebus™, the Church Of All Spirit, No Substance, we don’t mind if you ditch the pickle: bins are provided. Straight to the sundae every Sunday? No wucking Mc Jeebus™ Flurries!
It doesn’t really matter what the young footsoldier of Corporate Jesus believes. They don’t have to do more than the old Kenneth Hagin Cop-Out – ‘The Bible says it, I believe it and that settles it!’ – for that matter, they don’t need to know more Bible than a couple of soundbites such as you might find in a Darlene Zschech song. Certainly contextual reading is out of style. In the age of Twitter, it seems Jesus’s frontliners only need to be twits.
As long as the collections keep coming in, the recruiting happens (come on, how many kids/young adults go to Youth Alight or Plastic Shakers or any of the Jesus Lite™ MoshPits for the noise and proximity of potential jigginess? Lots, I bet!) and the Merch keeps selling, things are good.
Need footsoldiers for a demonstration of numbers, signatures for a development application (sign twice, it’s extra nice!), “volunteers” for those lucrative symposium/conference/rally/merch opportunity occasions? Just keep the excitement flowing, and hordes of young’uns will stack your chairs, stuff your envelopes, carry your (notes and cheques only, please) holey-bottomed collection buckets.
There’s a certain comfort for the management when questions aren’t asked. The members who are just there for the “Ooh! Ponies!” feeling don’t have a foundation to rock. By the time the Holy Spirit Of Endorphins™ has stopped stimulating them, they’re either settled-in as regular tithers (and breeders of NextGen McJeebus™ Consumers) and will sit quietly, or used-up, and should be swept aside for fresh meat. You don’t get to sit too long in Mickey Dee’s if you’re not buying, and woe betide the blow-ins who just want to use the dunnies.
If you’ve gotten this far down the page and haven’t blown an artery, you’re probably an atheist or agnostic. Good. Here’s some advice: don’t bother with the McJeebus Happy-Mealers. You won’t convince ’em of anything while they’re too busy chasing the sugar rush. Don’t waste your time: you can come back when they’re older and knackered from a constant diet of rubbish. They’ll eventually be out of the drive-thru: as Tanya Levin says of one of these churches: “There is a 50 per cent turnover every five years. Hillsong is renowned for having a very big back door.”
After pap like that, a diet of stone-ground skepticism will probably be very welcome.
Why I Don’t Want A Christian Bus Driver
I want to ride in an atheist-driven bus. My problem isn’t with the driver’s personal choice of religion, even though we’ll probably never get started if the side of the vehicle reads “There’s Probably No God, So Stop Worrying And Enjoy Your Life”.
Driver hissy-fits may be annoying, but they pale into insignificance beside the real threat of Christ-addled drivers – disassociation.
Even discounting the unlikely event that Your Friendly Driver Is …Keith… will suddenly evaporate, or rise ethereally through the roof of the bus, or however they choose to do it (I understand the church is in consultation with George Lucas’s effects people), my major concern is…
A sticker advising me that my driver’s mind is mostly in heaven while he’s on the job? Not good for my confidence, thanks. I want a driver whose apprehension of death or injury matches or exceeds my own, not some guy marking time till his sky-fairy says, “Grab your things, I’ve come to take you home.”
And don’t get me started on planes.
That Sully bloke who put the jet down on the Hudson River: I’ll have a down-to-earth guy like him in case of emergency, not somebody content to lead his fellow-plummeters in a prayer over the cabin intercom.
Dear drivers and pilots, if my life is in your hands, I would prefer to live it here. For a long time, if possible. Your assistance is appreciated.
Pascal’s All-Day Sucker.
Anybody who’s been “witnessed to” by a christian of any intellect at all, is probably aware of Pascal’s Wager.
Good ol’ Blaise Pascal, mathematical French guy, provided this little mind-bender, and it’s been a handy leading edge to many a wedge of witness ever since.
Oh, you don’t need to prove there’s a god, it goes. Just hedge your bets. If you follow my simple gambling system, says Pascal, you cannot lose…
- Believe there’s no god and die believing there’s no god. If there’s no god, End of story – No Gain, No Loss.
- Believe there’s a god and die believing there’s a god. If there’s no god, End of story – No Gain, No Loss.
- Believe there’s no god and die believing there’s no god. If there’s a god, Endless Pain and Nasty People With Pitchforks. Never mind that they’re not in the bible.
- Believe there’s a god and die believing there’s a god. If there’s a god, Jackpot, grab a harp and get ready for a forever of being good.
Now, like many a racing system, there is a bit of flawed thinking going on. Like the tout who has you mentally counting your winnings, the whole shebang concentrates on Happy Endings.
Please forgive me for wandering, but this reminds me of the olden days.
There was an old trick that got tried time and again at my boarding school: new boys would be told not to stoke up on sausages, because this dinnertime there would be as much ice-cream, jelly and custard as the lads could eat, due to some mysterious malfunction in the kitchen freezers.
Of course, the greedy little blighters would often eat one sausage, or none, out of their three. The older lads would say, “Oh well, if you don’t want those…” and wolf down the discarded snags.
Guess what? Dessert was a small serving of Indescribable Hard Slice in a small pool of watery custard, as always.
And we were speaking of sweets, weren’t we? Well, what about this for a revised “wager” – Pascal’s All-Day Sucker:
- Believe there’s no god, live life like it’s all there is, and die believing there’s no god. If there’s no god, End of story – Life lived, No Loss.
- Believe there’s a god and die believing there’s a god. If there’s no god, and you’ve been holding back on living (a big “Hi!” to all our celibate clergy) and spent your entire life praying, tithing and annoying people about your religion, it’s still end of story – No Gain, and a complete loss of a life.
If the absence of other possibilities annoys you, perhaps I could interest you in this wonderful scheme where I bless all your money overnight in my Secret Holy Place. Results are guaranteed!
Pastor blames Victorian bushfires on abortion decriminalisation
You gotta hand it to the the Pastor Danny Nalliah, the paragon of peace, he really knows how to get on top of a situation and turn it around to good old christian values, drum up support and have everyone clamouring to get on his bandwagon.
If you missed the announcement, Pastor Danny Nalliah from the Catch the Fire Ministries has tried to blame the bushfires in Victoria on laws that decriminalise abortion.
This brainwave is the Pentecostal church’s leader, and the Big Boss God ™ woke him last year in October:
“a flash from the Spirit of God: that His conditional protection has been removed from the nation of Australia, in particular Victoria, for approving the slaughter of innocent children in the womb”.
He said he must tell Australians The Truth ™ and it’s no use ‘molly-coddling’ them.
Whoa! so much for the concept of choice! Mr God sticks his nose in everywhere the sly dog! I mean, if there’s a god protecting us, why does all sorts of disasters happen in the first place? It kinda reminds me of some of the blatant truths been asked since day one, that even if there was the miniscule chance there was possibly a god it would either be all-powerful, but not compassionate, or compassionate, but not all-powerful. Nothing like what the major religions are teaching their ‘flock’. But in all seriousness, everything we know and see around us, as well as logic, points to there not being one. And every day in every way, more and more data confirms it.
Pastor Nalliah pointed to 2 Chronicles 7:14 to vouch for his assertion that God could withdraw his protection from a nation.
“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”
And from that sherlock deduces :
“The Bible is very clear,” he said. “If you walk out of God’s protection and turn your back on Him, you are an open target for the devil to destroy.”
“A few months ago the news media should have reported ‘the darkest hour for the unborn’, but unfortunately the `Decriminalisation of Abortion bill’ went through parliament and was passed, thus making many people call Victoria ‘the baby killing state of Australia’ “
Oh yea lets not forget this fellows statements in 2007 before the Federal election
“I will boldly declare that Prime Minister John Howard will be re-elected in the November election (if the Body of Christ unites in prayer and action) and pass the leadership onto Peter Costello sometime after.”
or the Sarah Palin Prophesy. This bloke is dangerous.
Rather than focus too much on this wally, as he pretty much speaks for himself, we call out to others to donate where they can via
or blood via
The Late Jesus Christ
They’ve been at it since the year 30, by our counting. You can hear them these days on TV and in the pulpits, madly twisting little bits of quote from here and there, insisting that this and that condition have been fulfilled.
Thanks to Mako for this short list (it’s by no means the total) of JC Comeback No-Shows:
2800 BCE – An Assyrian clay tablet declares, “Our earth is degenerate in these latter days, there are signs that the world is speedily coming to an end. Bribery and corruption are common.”
634 BCE – Many Romans believe Rome will be destroyed 120 years following it founding as foretold by twelve eagles that once appeared to Romulus, each believed to represent 10 years.
6th Century BCE (actually written in 2nd Century BCE) – The Book of Daniel predicts the End of Time. He declares, “I kept looking in the night visions and behold, with the clouds of heaven, one like the Son of Man was coming” [7:13]. The author also mentions that many of those who sleep in the dust of the ground will awake, these to everlasting life, the others to disgrace and everlasting contempt. [12:2]
Early 1st Century CE??? – Jesus declared, “This generation shall not pass away until all will be fulfilled.” Early Christians believed the End would occur during their lifetime. Jesus also said, “Verily I say unto you, there be some standing here which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” [Matthew 16:28]
66-70 CE – The Essenes, a Jewish ascetic sect with apocalyptic beliefs, man have interpreted the Jewish revolt against the Romans as the final battle.
70 CE – The founder of the 19th century Opeida sect, John Humphrey Noyes, claimed the Second Advent had already taken place with the fall of Jerusalem (naturally, with only believers seeing it).
Late 1st Century CE – The Book of Revelation foretells an apocalypse followed by the creation of a new heavens and a new earth. The ecstatic Montanists held that Christ was to arrive during their generation and was to appear at Pepuza, in Phrygia (in modern Turkey), designated by the group as “New Jerusalem”.
247 CE – As Rome celebrates it’s thousandth anniversary, persecutions increase against Christians, making many of them believe the world was coming to an end.
365 CE – The famous Christian saint, Hilary of Poitiers, believes the world would end this year.
380 CE – A North African sect, the Donatists, asserted this year marked the End.
Late 4th Century – St. Martin of Tours declared, “There is no doubt that the Antichrist has already been born. Firmly established, already in his early years he will, after reaching maturity, achieve supreme power.”
500 CE – Julius Africanus (160-240) theorized that the world would end approximately 6000 years after the creation of the planet, hence the Second Coming would occur around 500 CE, The Christian apologist Irenaeus as well as Hippolytus also held to 500 CE as the date of the return of Jesus Christ.
793 CE – The Spanish monk Beatus of Lieband prophesied the end of the world on Easter eve 793, causing the present crowd to panic. Everyone fasted throughout the night and were relieved to discover they were alive and well the next day.
848 CE – The prophetess Thiota believed 848 was the final year.
970 CE – Catharingian felt they had calculated the exact date of the end of the world, with Christ’s arrival set for Friday, March 25 970, for coincidentally both the celebration of the Annunciation and Good Friday shared this very same date. Furthermore, they were confident that this day also marked Adam’s creation, Isaac’s sacrifice, the Red Sea’s parting, both Jesus’ conception and crucifixion. They figured how could the End of Days manage to miss such a well-established tradition?
992 CE – Bernard of Thuringia believed the consummation of all things would occur in the year 992.
1000 CE – Many Christians in late antiquity and during the early medieval period (including St Augustine) were sure that the year 1000 marked the end of the world. Panic gripped many in western Europe and some people even left their homes to wait for the arrival of Jesus in Jerusalem.
1033 CE – When Jesus did not arrive a thousand years after the date of his “calculated” birth, various Christian mystics asserted that the end would occur a thousand years after his Crucifixion. The entire early eleventh century was a period of constant rumors that the end was near (as recorded by the Burgundian monk Radulfus Glaber).
1100 CE – Somehow the year 1100 became the next year believed to mark impending doom for all humanity.
1184 CE – Rather than Christ, 1184 was the date set for the arrival of the Antichrist.
1186 CE – john of Toledo foresaw the end of the world as encoded within the cosmos, noting that the planetary alignment occurring in Libra on September 23, 1186 would spell certain doom.
1200 CE – Once again, the end predicted based on the neatness of the numbers matched in hundreds. One of the advocated of this date was Italian mystic Joahim of Fiore (1135-1202), but he also added the end could happen as late as 1260.
1284 CE – It is recorded that Pope Innocent III expected the Second Coming to occur 666 years following the rise of Islam and so calculated the year 1284.
1290 CE – Followers of Joachim of Fione decided their mystic really meant 1290 to mark the End.
1306 CE – Establishing the idea that the beginning of the Millennium began with the advent of Roman emperor Constantine’s reign in the year 306, Gerard of Poehide(in 1147) determined the release of Satan would occur about 1306.
1335 CE – Not willing to give up on their teacher’s calculations, the followers of Joachim of Fiore extended his predictions to 1335.
1366 CE – French ascetic, Jean de Roquetailiade determined the Milennium would start between 1368 and 1370, with the Antichrist’s arrival set for 1366.
1367 CE – Militz of Mromeriz, a Czech archdeacon, asserted the End would occur around 1367.
1378 CE – Once more, the followers of Joachim of Fiore (now called Joachites) came up with yet another date, this was set by Arnold of Vilanova, in his De Tempore Ativento Antichristia in his reinterpretation, the antichrist’s reign would begin in 1378.
1420 CE – The Taborites (directly related to the Hussites of Bohemia) predicted the finality of all things to occur in 1420 and calculated this event right down to the month, February. The main proponent of this belief was the Czech prophet Martinek Hausha.
1500 CE – Enamored by the mystique of the double zeros, 1500 became the next target date of the end.
1524 CE – According to certain English astrologers, the end of the world would begin in London on the first of February. The report is that 20,000 people fled their homes, expecting the first sign to be a giant flood. February 1st ended up being a relatively calm, rainless day. Because of the planetary alignment with Pisces, astrologer Johannes Stoeffler determined the End (again with a flood because Pisces was considered a water sign) would occur on Feruary 24th.
1532 CE – A Viennese bishop by the name of Frederick Nausea believed the end was near when he heard about crosses dripped in blood manifesting beside a comet.
1533 CE – During this period in general, a group called the Anabaptists began to predict the end of the world on various dates. The End occurring in the year 1533 was advanced by their prophet Melchior Hoffman, who thought Christ would first come to Strasbourg. According to his theology only 144,000 people would be saved, with everyone else burned by fire.
1534 CE – Another Anabaptist, Jan Matthys, calculated the End on Easter Day, April 5, 1534. Only those at Munster would survive the impending destruction.
1583 CE – At exactly noontime on April 28th 1583, with the conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn, Christ was supposed to come again, at least that’s what astrologer Richard Harvey thought.
1600 CE – It is recorded that Martin Luther believed the world would end before 1600.
1603 CE – Tomasso Campanella, a Dominican monk, had this hot notion that the sun would collide with the Earth this year.
1648 CE – A rabbi from Smyrna, Turkey, by the name of Sabbatai Zevi calculated using the Kabbalah that the Messiah would appear this year and that this Messiah was indeed him!
1666 CE – The Great Fire of London this year only encouraged Christians and Jews alike to believe the End was at hand; in a rare display of ecumenical apocaplyptism. Jews believed the Messiah was to appear and Christians expected the second coming of Christ. Christians simply figured that the first 1000 years represented the millennium and that if they added the number of the Beast, 666 to this number, they would reach the time of the Apocalypse.
1694 CE – The German prophet Johann Jacob Zimmerman believed Jesus would return this year in the New World, after intensive biblical as well as astrological studies. He gathered pilgrims to accompany him to America, known as the Woman of the Wilderness, but died before they could leave. Johannes Kelpius took Zimmerman’s place and led everyone to the Americas, but Jesus never appeared.
1697 CE – Famous witch hunter Cotton Mather believed the End out occur this year.
1733 CE – Long before, Sir Isaac Newton predicted the End for this year.
1736 CE – William Whiston of Cambridge said the Apocalypse would happen on October 13, 1736, destroying the Sodom of what was London of his day.
1757 CE – Emanuel Swedenborg in a mystical vision, was told 1757 was the big year!
1763 CE – George Bell, a follower of John Wesley, prophesied that this year marked the End.
1792 CE – The Shaker’s designated apocalyptic year.
1805 CE – Presbyterian minister Christopher Love, in the 17th century foresaw this as the final year.
1814 CE – Joanna Southcott, the 64 year old virgin prophetess, believed October 19th would mark the day of the re-birth of Christ and that she was chosen to hold the new baby Jesus. Furthermore, Jesus was to be born on Christmas Day. While she did look pregnant, she wasn’t and actually died of dropsy on Christmas Day.
1834 CE – First date set by William Miller for the End.
1836 CE – Second date set by William Miller.
1843 CE – Third date set by William Miller.
1844 CE – Fourth year set by Miller, and set for March 21st, but after no arrival, re-set for October 22nd.
1856 – The Crimean War was believed by many to be the Battle of Armageddon predicted in the book of Revelation.
1874 CE – Charles Taze Russell, founder of the group that eventually became the Witnesses of Jehovah, proclaimed that Christ had indeed returned this year! But only spiritually speaking.
1881 CE – The End of the World according to some Jehovah Witnesses.
1891 CE – Joseph Smith, founder of Mormonism, estimated in 1825 that the Second Coming would occur in about 56 years which brings it to this year.
1896 CE – Michael Boxter, in his book, The End of This Age About the End of This Century, set the Rapture for this year, with 144,000 real Christians worth of this journey.
1900 CE – The Brothers and Sisters of the Red Death, a Russian cult, believed this year was the End of the World, specifically on November 13th. In this belief, over 100 committed suicide.
1908 CE – a grocery store owner in Pennsylvania y the name of Lee T. Spangler believed the fires of Hell would consume the earth this year.
1910 CE – Many believed Halley’s Comet was the sign of the End of the World. Some even claimed that the comet was poisonous and took “comet pills” to protect themselves.
1914 CE – Some Jehovah Witnesses saw World War I as the Battle of Armageddon.
1919 CE – Meteorologist Albert Porta believed the conjunction of six planets would trigger a magnetic tug that would destroy the earth on December 17, 1919.
1925 CE – The angel Gabriel appeared before Margaret Rowan and told her the world would end on Friday the Thirteenth.
Herbert W. Armstrong, founder of the Worldwide Church of God, believed the Rapture was a scheduled to occur this year.
1939 CE – World War II was seen as the beginning of the End of the World.
1953 CE – Agnes Carlson, founder of the Canadian Sons of Light, predicted this year as the End.
1954 CE – Dorothy Martin, leader of the Brotherhood of the Seven Rays, predicted a giant flood would destroy the Earth on exactly December 21, 1954.
1959 CE – The Founder of the Davidians, Victor Houteff, believed the End was near, but after his death, his wife Frances established the date as April 22, 1959. Many gathered on Mount Carmel near Waco, Texas, but nothing happened.
1966 CE – The Nation of Islam believed sometime between 1965 and 1966, the apocalypse would happen destroying the United States.
1967 CE – According to the Rev. Sun Myung Moon, the Kingdom of Heaven was to be established this year.
1970 CE – In his book “The Late Great Planet Earth”, Hal Lindsey said that the End of the World was taking place now.
1973 CE – The guru of the Children of God, David Berg, believed the United States would be destroyed by a comet this year.
1981 CE – Chuck Smith of Cavalry Chapel of TV fame predicted the world would end in this year.
1988 CE – In his book, “88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be in 1988”, Edgar Whisenam argued that Jesus would return on Rosh Hoshana, between September 11 and 13.
1989 CE – Since Jesus did not return in 1988, Whisenam revised his figures, because of a anomaly in the Gregorian calendar, to this year.
1990 CE – Whisenam next predicted this year as the End.
1991 CE – Whisenam tried again, predicting this year as the End.
1992 CE – In a fourth try, Whisenam predicted this year.
1993 CE – Figuring that the odds were with him, Whisenam predicted this year.
1994 CE – In his last try, Whisenam predicted this year and when this year came and went, quit trying. His book sales had tanked by then!
And so on…
Hey! You still here? Me too.
The Race is On! JAAL vs Maccas, DING! DING!
Bible Society CEO Daniel Willis says we live in a community where the McDonalds golden arches are more prominent than the cross.
Well, it’s on, who’s gonna win? Maccas or Jesus? Each has a great marketing strategy, heaps of money to invest, and aim to bombard people with their message.
“All participating churches will fly the ‘Jesus. All about life’ banner, so the people of Sydney will be bombarded, prompting serious thought.
“It’s building a climate of awareness in which the message of the gospel will be more readily accepted. ‘Jesus. All about life’ is sowing a seed.”
Is anyone going to inform http://www.nationalsecurity.gov.au ? It’s not like Christianity can lead to fundamentalism like shootings and complicity in military suppression or race hate or radicalism can it? Or threatening anthrax? Or actions that kill like here and here and here and terrorist outfits like here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and these folk or these folk and also here and of course here and these folk that are ready for violent action and people that think killing doctors is still ok?
It’s these same concepts that the Jesus All About Life campaign are propagating as irrefutable fact, that create extremists that get people KILLED.
Daniel says Jesus did not come to start an institution or an organization. He came so that all people could have a relationship with God.
“Our community is under the mistaken impression that the church is about oppressing and restricting our lives. This is not the message or purpose of Jesus.
Of COURSE the church is oppressing and restricting our lives, I mean, if we don’t follow Jesus or a god, we are condemned to burn in the fires of hell aren’t we for a start? Plus they actively ‘bombard’ us with this idea constantly, and we are told if we say ‘bunkem’, we are being ‘intolerant’? Our society panders to people under these delusions. The oppression and restrictions in our life are a direct result of religious intolerance, from the RELIGIOUS.
Will it be Maccas? Will it be Jesus? Or will another contender raise their head? stay tuned …
UPDATE! Looks like they are trodding a similar path? This just in from one of our readers:rss
Hurry, 15% off Jesus! Best deal in 2009 years!
Yep, Jesus All about Life has got something for you the consumer!! Roll up roll up! buy your salvation here! We sell it cheap!
The commercialisation of religion just permeates the whole business that is jesus.
Whoa, and guess what! They are able to peddle their ‘facts’ STATE TAX EXEMPT
Christians are waiting for the end times, when Jesus will come back and do all the wondrous things he promised (you know, the apocalypse and all that).
But the thing was, if Jesus did exist, he was a bloody liar! The promised apocalypse is running WAY behind schedule.
Jesus told his followers he would return in their lifetime:
Verily I say unto you, All these things shall come upon this generation. – Matthew 23:36
Then he makes a bunch of prophecies, and tells his listeners that these will happen in their lifetime too:
Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled. – Matthew 24:34
In this passage Jesus claimed that some of the people standing there when he spoke, would still be alive when Jesus came back from heaven:
Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.
It’s not just in Matthew that Jesus’s lies are apparent, he says them all over again in Mark!
Verily I say unto you, that this generation shall not pass, till all these things be done. – Mark 13:30-31
And here Jesus says it again, he’ll be back any day now….
And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That there be some of them that stand here, which shall not taste of death, till they have seen the kingdom of God come with power. – Mark 9:1
These words about not tasting death are a recurrent theme, here’s Luke quoting Jesus::
But I tell you of a truth, there be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the kingdom of God. – Luke 9:27
The Christians like telling you that Jesus is coming back, any day now. You’d better believe what they tell you, ’cause their god is just about to jump out of the clouds… But he’s been about to “come back any day now” for a good two thousand years.
The Christians will tell you that I’m interpreting this all wrong, and that any part of the Bible that doesn’t make sense in light of the evidence is a “metaphor”. Rubbish. Go and read it for yourself, the claims of this Jesus character have clearly been contradicted by that book that Christians keep trying to thump us with.
NOTE: All quotes in this post were KJV.